Why do I keep trying when I know that it won't really matter.

Well I did it again, so here I am bitching again. I try to do these things to help the ex save money but I know she won't be happy with the finished product and it will wind up costing me much more that my time and effort is worth. She and my daughter saw a picture holder with the saying from a song by Rascal Flatts. She didn't even know the song or the reference but since my daughter is a fan she did and her fiancée is a truck driver. She liked it but they didn't get it. The next time I took her to Canton because she wanted to go. That was another waisted trip because she bitched the whole time and she still didn't get it, probably because it cost too much and she wanted me to do it but not screw it up and make it look better. In my eyes I did and spent too much in getting materials I didn't have but the extras I can use again on other projects. I took her to the store and told her about the things but she wanted the nails sunk in and wood filler put in which had to be painted and not stained so it wouldn't show and then it would also not be what she wanted. I was fighting a losing battle. Still I did the project and I know my daughter would still love it. I hung it in her(my daughter's) room, not the ex, if the ex decides it is acceptable. There it will stay because I told her about the problems in making it and what I did, but that is not what we talked about so she was pissed and I sent her a picture and told her that that is what it looks like, as is and if she doesn't like it she can get the one at Canton. That also makes me pissed and she wants to throw a shower for her and said we need to pay for it which means me but she is full of shit. If she wants it then she will have to throw it and I am out of the picture on that one since I told my daughter I would get her so much money for the wedding and that I have already done. My daughter understands but the ex does not know what ex means.

Year end in review

Well it has been too long. I have been too busy with all the changes at work and with familiars. The changes at work are just getting worse and who knows what is to come. I was changed to teaching a computer lab with three programs. Scheduling classes and the teachers don't want to let them go. The demands on them is so great that I am glad where I am but who knows how long that will last. I have completed things on schedule as I set for myself and nobody sets timelines for me. The boss threated to retire last year and now has informed us that she will be gone in January. What we get next nobody knows. What changes that will mean is open to supposition. I spent most of the summer with my daughter after her move. The rest was spent helping the ex find a new place and then getting her packed, moved and still helping unpack. I hope the next year will be for me but that will be debateable because in December before all the Christmas fun started she got engaged so I am now Father of the Bride to be. Christmas was fun with the ex fussing at me all the way because it was unsafe. I knew that and would have been happy to stay at home but the kid wanted to go and see the snow. Now she says they want a winter wedding so maybe Jan or Feb of 2014. Who knows. The plans haven't been made yet. Anyway we got her to the airport and back on her way home then I took the ex to work and I went home. On the way home I knew that things would be ok because as I was thinking and saying a thank you prayer to God for getting us through the holidays safely a white dove flew up in front of the car as I was driving. How amazing of a sign do I need. Thanks, Lord. What does the new year hold. I don't know. Last year I planned to join the gym so I would loose the weight but that did not hold. This year I will keep up the plan but without the gym, more walking, and better diet. I would like to travel again but we will see. I promissed an amount and after that I have to save up for a trip. More later.

Well work has been keeping me busy but I found time to do this last weekend after seeing one that Mija did. As she asked, "What are the whisps?" Lion's hair and lion's paws are the mark of the Chimera. Thus it is individually mine. Work is interesting because this year I am in a computer lab and staying busy although some people wonder if I do anything. Still making them look good which is my job. I am happy that the ex finally found a place and I no longer have to go with her searching for apartments. Her patience was running thin and she was giving up hope and as usual started taking it out on me. I kept my kewl but remembered why we got a divorce. I could no longer take the emotional abuse. Never was it intentional but neither was it necessary. Next project will be to create a costume for School Charater Dress up Day. I have to make it decent since it will be for school. Right now I am thinking about a new genie costume for the Tales of the Arabian Nights, one of my favorite books.

Remembering a poem I learned for poetry interpretation in high school. Edward Rowland Sill. 1841–1887 206. The Fool's Prayer THE ROYAL feast was done; the King Sought some new sport to banish care, And to his jester cried: "Sir Fool, Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!" The jester doffed his cap and bells, And stood the mocking court before; They could not see the bitter smile Behind the painted grin he wore. He bowed his head, and bent his knee Upon the monarch's silken stool; His pleading voice arose: "O Lord, Be merciful to me, a fool! "No pity, Lord, could change the heart From red with wrong to white as wool; The rod must heal the sin: but, Lord, Be merciful to me, a fool! "'T is not by guilt the onward sweep Of truth and right, O Lord, we stay; 'T is by our follies that so long We hold the earth from heaven away. "These clumsy feet, still in the mire, Go crushing blossoms without end; These hard, well-meaning hands we thrust Among the heart-strings of a friend. "The ill-timed truth we might have kept— Who knows how sharp it pierced and stung? The word we had not sense to say— Who knows how grandly it had rung? "Our faults no tenderness should ask, The chastening stripes must cleanse them all; But for our blunders—oh, in shame Before the eyes of heaven we fall. "Earth bears no balsam for mistakes; Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool That did his will; but Thou, O Lord, Be merciful to me, a fool!" The room was hushed; in silence rose The King, and sought his gardens cool, And walked apart, and murmured low, "Be merciful to me, a fool!" 40

Today I was supposed to be taking the ex for hand surgery but she rescheduled for later. I did not reschedule so I am staying home relaxing today. 5 more days of school with the kids and 6 days left total. Who knows what the next year may bring. I am waiting to see if I get a new contract on june 1st, the last day of school when they are supposed to be posted. New Super has started making changes through consulting contract till he is officially onboard June 2. He has already eliminated 86 positions at the top and created 36 new ones. We shall see.

I took a shot of the little section of my backyard that I call Mini Grand Prairie. It looks like a little prairie so I let the grasses grow around that little section where I have my pecan tree. The yard is looking much better with the new changes I have made this year. Me I am still about the same. I have slacked off the gym but I am still needing to make more changes.

I could add a full monty but no need it is posted in other places. Well I think I will continue to enjoy the morning outside listening to my iTunes while enjoying my morning mate and crocheting a scarf that I started for my sister at her request but I stopped because I was busy with other things. More updates later. I have slacked off of writing too.

New Year and New Me

Last year for my resolution I quit smoking, again. So far it is holding. On the first of February I joined the gym. I have been going 3 times the first week and 4 times the second. Getting myself adjusted to the new lifestyle. I want to get back on the weights and the doctor wants me to work on cardio. Right now a little of both at a slow pace.

Took the cat to see her mother since they, mom and the new boyfriend, wanted the two cats together. Not happening, Lucky was a real bitchcat with her fur on her back and tail like I have never seen her. Wow, she took out after that new cat. Very territorial and so she is back with me.

Wow, such a wild lifestyle, well I did make it back to the spa for a delightful evening after working out at the gym. It has been over a year and I was needing a good evening. It has been too long. I don't know what the deal is. These guys hit me up but then cancel out at the last minute.

Feliz Navidad

Well will it be a Christmas to remember. I think not. As usual they all have it planned out for me not that I would do any planning. I went Thanksgiving and it was ok. I baked pies and cupcakes which did not come out to my satifaction so I am not wanting to bake. Not in the mood. I have been sitting around crocheting as usual and still working on a last minute gift for Mija as I did last year. When will I learn. Went to Khols and bought all my gifts earlier so I have my shopping done early, wrapped at Thanksgiving break.

I revamped a lamp. As they said in Aladdin, "New Lamps for Old!" The ex had a lamp that was given to her parents but did not work so I took it apart, repainted it and rewired it. Bought new globes and it worked fine.

Still baby sitting the new grandkitten that my daughter took to replace her aging cat. But Dad had to take it home and train it not to bite. Working better but she still hasn't learned not to totally stop biting. She is still a kitten. Right now I said hello lazy cat and she crouched in her attack position.